I sit back and listen to the complaints from new mothers...I hear them complain about not enough sleep, getting peed on in the bathtub, every 2 hour feedings, no sex for 6 weeks, and I just sit here and think about how I dont sleep right now anyways, so having a baby wouldnt change that, but a baby and being a mother is worth all the no sleep in the world to me. I think about how cute and funny it would be if my child would pee on me in the bathtub, about how funny of a story it would be to tell their future spouse later in life, but I cant because my children wont have spouses because they are dead. Feeding a baby is the most beautiful and precious thing any one can ever do for a child, whether that child is 1 day old or 18 years old, its a mothers job, its her heart that goes into those feedings, even throwing a pizza in the oven, its heart and love in that frozen pizza, and I would give anything to feed my own child, to feel needed, to feel loved, to bake that love into the meals, but I cant because my children are dead. NO SEX FOR 6 WEEKS!!! Yikes! That seems like such a long time, but geesh, after you lose a baby, or have a baby, no sex happens anyways, and I would give up years of sex to be a mother, so what is up with all of this complaining. Very annoyed! I just sit back and try not to go off on these new mothers, I listen, I dont say a word, and I just think. I think what it would be like to have a child to love, what it would be like to have a baby to feed and burp and bathe. Its little things like that, that I and Josh have lost out on, 3 times over. Each time it gets more and more painful, like there is no hope. I hope one day, whether its an adopted child, a foster child, something, we get to be parents, and maybe I will complain IDK, but for now, it just seems silly to complain about such a huge gift given by God! P.S. my tubes are not getting tied.
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