2 months Update

Me and Kenzi

After we lost Clayton

Just me and Josh

(Baby shower with Emma)

Hanging by the pool (Prego with Em)

My sr. photo (one of many)

Bus ride 

1st bus ride-pregnant with Emma(Going to dr 2009)

Pregnant with Jace

Family Photo minus the cat Charlie

Park days

Nephew Skyler

Charlie in the bassinet 

Tootsie at my grandma's house

1ST Key Lime Pie

Headed to the dr.

Baby Paisley 22 weeks

Daniel 6 mths old

Tootsie checking out nephew Daniel

angel garden for the angels (Clayton, Emma, Savannah and Jace Marie)

A lot has happened in the last 2 months-Jace is now 7 months old, Emma is now 20 months old. Our niece Savannah is 17 months and niece Abby is 6 months tomorrow. Our nephew Daniel is 7 months old now, not a crawler yet, but soon, and Nathan will be 4 in 4 months. Next week is Easter, we arent celebrating, and the following week or so is Mothers Day and hopefully Jace's headstone will be up by then. Then as we all know its Memorial Day. I was talking to my grandma tonight and I think Im going to have a birthday dinner to remember my Grandpa Sheldon by. Fresh corn on the cob, whole garden tomatoes, burgers or steak on the grill, fresh strawberries in cream and sugar and 7 layer salad. My mouth is watering already and its 2 months away haha. Josh got the full time position and is now permanent with the company, he had his first round of training in Peoria last week and passed his HAS-MAT test with literally flying colors, he tied for the highest score out of 11 people, he leaves this Sunday for his fire fighter training and will be home Friday. So tonight whats on my mind is "one way streets". Why do some relationships only seem to be one way? Like we go see my family all the damn time, but they can never come see us because and I quote "the neighborhood is not safe and there are homeless people". REALLY!?!?!?!?  Our neighborhood is inner city, but most of the neighborhoods are around here, and every city and town has homeless people. Grandma meets us in a neighboring sister city, which is fine, she makes an effort, seems like shes the only one who makes the effort. The other thing I am battling with in my head is, neglected kids taken by DCFS. I know a family, who has a 3  bedroom house and 8 people living there, and one of the family members threatened to call CPS on them and the DHS. Why? If it wasnt for these kids grandparents, then yes, they would be having issues, but the grandparents take such good care of these kids, and to take them away from that just seems so wrong. Granted this old bat is a little off her rocker, but still. Its not even cool to joke about things like that. We moved our dining room back into the kitchen and started putting up some baby things yesterday. Pretty cool, seems like life is making a full circle, in a good way though. Well Josh is home-off to make grilled cheese with tomato and tomato soup for dinner-

Fluffy Duffy Angel Kisses,

Ashleigh and angels

a new angel parent couple needs prayer

its been 5 months already, cant believe it-now we are at the point of deciding to try again or to get my tubes tied...a lot of thoughts going on right now-between that and wondering if we will be homeless in a month-who knows...say a prayer for a new found friend victoria and her husband derrick as they just lost their daughter carly ann on jan 9th to unknown reasons as of right now-noone should be going on the journey of losing a child-so please pray for them and their strength and hope

thanks
ashleigh and angels

What a journey...

4 months after the loss of our angel Jace, we find ourselves wondering, what is our next move-Josh just started a new job site, and his last check and next pay check are going to be so small, we have to decide between groceries or a bill-its nuts-come the 2nd check in Feb though all will be okay. We are also now stuck in between staying at the house we live in now, we are settled, we have put a lot of work into it, and its big enough for us, and paying rent because we cant get all the taxes paid off in time, or trying for a mortgage and moving, which will get us out of this crazy area, into our own home, and the space will be bigger, but it could mean less money every month, more renovations and again the moving thing. We are stuck between decisions, so I trust Josh to make the best one, and I will obviously go with it. Jace's headstone is now down to 253 dollars until its paid off, which is satisfying. My relationship with my parents is much better, my relationship with Joshs family seems to be worse almost, and my relationship with Josh, despite our 5 year anniversary coming up the 30th, is a little bumpy right now. He is working 3rd shift, I am still at home, and its just a lot of routine, but I am happy with it. So do we adopt or do we hope for the best in the future with our own fertility. I guess we will find out as time goes on. In the mean time, my best friend of 11 years is now talking to me again, after some comments I made out of pure insanity, I have another new friend, who can totally relate to me, she too is an angel mother. We got a few inches of snow this last week, its melting, so Im hoping we get more snow soon, but I look forward to planting my flowers this spring and then in the summer possibly having another pool up or something. Nothing too much has gone on though since I last blogged, just thinking a lot about where the future will take us. Joshs new job has a lot of opportunity for growth, he just needs to believe in himself more and take it on full and strong. A lot of prayers go out to a couple from Lincoln who just lost their twin boys, to stillbirth last week. My heart breaks for you, and you will remain in all my thoughts and prayers. Lots of love and luck to each angel parent out there.

Fluffy Hugs and Lots of Love,
Ashleigh and Angels

4 months ago

4 Months ago our daughter Jace had no heart beat-its been one of those days-we are in the process of adopting a baby boy and its very exciting- I will not be blogging for quite some time, going to be busy, also on bedrest for the time being for other issues-here are some photos of the nursery-there are others, but these are a few- Christmas was good, new years was good-been a little hectic around here, but all is well-have a wonderful next few months