Disrespect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No man should ever disrespect his woman in front of his mother, Ever! Thats what happened today! Its not even night time, and todays been one shitty day! So working on the car is how Joshs morning started out, and I was sitting on the porch step and he was attempting to do the oil change, and recall this is just how I saw and heard things, but I felt so disrespected. He may not think he yelled or disrespected me, but I feel like he did, and thats all that matters! I have spent the last 4 1/2 years, almost 5, trying to prove to everyone that I am a good person, I have spent the last few years trying to prove to my family that he has drive and has emotion, I am so wrong. I feel like I did a bad thing by giving Jace and Emma his last name. I may be just speaking out of anger and hurt feelings, but right now this is how I feel. I gave them the Whitcomb last name because Josh is a good guy, and he loves those little girls, but I am starting to think nothing was ever what I created it to be in my head. He has no respect, none. The way I felt was like I was being blamed for his stupid mistake, like I was supposed to be watching the every move of the damn stationary Jeep, like I was supposed to see it pouring out...HA! My headphones are on, my Josh Groban is blaring and again I resort to blogging. If you dont like what I am writing, dont read it. I know now that I am miserable, I know now that I hate being a door mat, and I know now that this is probably just the grief stages coming out. I dont know much, but I do know I feel hurt so so so bad right now!